Green smoothies

Perhaps the most rewarding discovering on my journey was the health benefits of the green poo smoothies. While Green Smoothies made with kale and spinach are commonplace with celebrities and other more garden variety bloggers, I am the first to investigate the nutritional wonder of green baby poo.

The immaturity of a newborn baby’s gut and lack of highly corrosive gastric acids means that breast-fed baby poo is a gentle and easily digested gourmet additive suitable for vegetarians and any ethically minded consumer (not suitable for vegans).

Simply puree green poo with breastmilk (or cows milk) for a refreshing and economical boost.

Posset face mask

Not all recipes on Baby Steps are for edible products. Possets (or baby spew) makes a wholesome and economical face cream and is equally effective at curing dry hair.

Simply place the posseted milk in a square of fine muslin and hang over a bowl for 1 hour. Use the drippings to add flavour to soups and puddings, and the solids can be smeared liberally over the face or hair to add moisture and a healthy glow.

Umbilical cord biltong

Admittedly there is a time commitment for this recipe, but it is worth it, and since you only get one cord per baby, it makes the finished product both exclusive and rewarding.

If you do not have a Biltong maker, you can use the Clothes Dryer for a suitable at-home alternative.

Slice the reserved umbilical cord and sprinkle with your preferred spices – I find the stronger flavours of cayenne pepper, paprika and ground coriander enhances the already gamey flavours of the cord.

Make sure the cord is dried (no dripping blood) before you hang it in your biltong machine (or place in your dryer). Three full cycles on high heat should be sufficient to dry your biltong.

Makes a wonderful gift for dads and grandads to celebrate the arrival of the new baby.

Cradle Cap Muesli

I was literally scratching my head trying to find a solution to my daughter’s cradle cap problem when I discovered that it had a wonderful nutty flavour that was further enhanced by dry-frying with slivered almonds and pepitas.

Mixed in with your preferred combination of rolled oats, bran, dried fruits and other nuts, it will keep in an air-tight jar for up to four weeks. When moistened with breast milk and grated apple, this recipe makes a wonderful organic Bircher muesli.

Breaskmilkshakes

If you are fortunate enough to have an ample supply of breastmilk, then a breastmilkshake would make a wonderful Sunday morning brunch for your husband. It seems only fair that he shares in the bounty that your body is creating, and he would surely benefit from the added creamy hormones this special shake would provide.

While delectable and nourishing on its own, breastmilkshakes can be boosted with placenta dust or banana.

For a more inclusive indulgence your husband can provide over 50 nutrients and substances including zinc, protein and calcium with each ejaculate. Semen is known to have antimicrobial properties as well as mood-enhancing compounds and the cosmic balance between breastmilk and semen is only enhanced by its delicious flavour. A wholesome treat for the whole family.

Deep-fried lanugo

It wasn’t until my son was born in 2008 that I discovered the mouth-watering textures of lanugo, the fine hair that covers some newborns. I was able to collect the hair as it fell out over his first few weeks (I recommend purchasing a small dustpan and brush for this purpose) and storing it in a mason jar until I had sufficient quantities.

When deep-fried in coconut or avocado oil the lanugo crisps and can be used as a decorative accompanied to a meal, which also provides delicate crunch and texture.

Due to its relative scarcity, lanugo can be seen as the truffles of the Baby Culinary Recycling world.

Placenta Dust

It is common knowledge that eating placenta provides your pregnancy-ravaged body with endless nutrients and hormones, all lovingly created by your own body. However I decided I needed to find new ways of enjoying this magical product.

The dried powder from a placenta capsule can be used to zhoosh up a simple dinner, either with an artistic dusting over a white plate, or mixing with mayonnaise to create a pale pink sauce. Equally effective in sweet dishes, placenta dust can add sparkle to a cupcake or be mixed with honey and drizzled over hot porridge.